If I wrote a book

Well THAT’S infuriating. Finally got this post written and my tablet froze and lost it all. mutter mutter swear swear OK moving on.
I’ve had trouble coming up with an intro to this because I wrote it very stream of conscious over a day or two in my lil notebook.  So I’ll just jump
right in.
Much of feminist thinking argued that the life of woman at home was one akin to indentured servitude and that to pursue this was not only a betrayal of one’s own potential but also of the rights and dignity of one’s entire gender.  In answer to this, much has been written to try and restore the role of housewife to one of worth: There is no nobler work than caring for a family. You are shaping the Future. You are demonstrating through your life the value of love and service and children. Now the neotraditional woman may find herself between a rock and a hard place. Having chosen this life, out of all the possibilities available to modern women, she may find that nine days out of ten it is fraught with difficulties.  (On the tenth day it’s just impossible 🙂 ) Who to talk to? Maybe not the career women who may listen sympathetically while their eyes say “Poor thing.  She’s so oppressed and unfulfilled.  What a horrible selfish man her husband must be.” On the other hand how can she admit to the other housewives, who have made similar choices, that she is not entirely happy?  After all isn’t this noble work to be undertaken with joy and zeal? It seems unhealthy to me that we might hold on to these dissatisfactions thinking others don’t have them.  If it’s only me feeling this way then it has to be my fault, my husband’s fault or my child’s fault and that way lies trouble.  Yet when we do share with someone, generally we find that these are just the common, run of the mill struggles of being married with children.  Sometimes they’re not even that restricted and are just the struggles of adulthood.  There are a lot of books about how to get married, how to raise kids, and how to keep house, but if I wrote a book it would be about what it’s like.  Chapters might include:
What you were sure you would do well in marriage/parenthood is easier in theory than in practice (ask Mike how hard it was to not watch Family Guy with a child in the room, or how hard it is not to swear when you find they’ve drawn ALL OVER your carpet in Sharpie)
That baby you’ve had named since you were twelve is mostly boring and trying by turns upon arrival.
You WILL be less cool when you have kids, it wasn’t just something that happened to your parents.
Becoming a Dad is a totally different journey than becoming a Mom and Moms need to be understanding.

What totally obvious thing about marriage and kids came as a total revelation to you?

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3 Comments

Filed under Homemaking, Motherhood

3 responses to “If I wrote a book

  1. Veronica

    More responsibilty with the added trial of mental regression.
    There is no possible way you know what you’re getting into.
    The lost idea of “running out for just a second”.
    There’s ALWAYS more sports.
    You’ll never REALLY know what you’re doing again.
    Housework…the circle.

    Excellent, honest post, Cait!

  2. Elizabeth

    That each child really is different!
    Your parenting “method” may not be at all what you expected, once you meet your child.

    Loved the post!

  3. John Janaro

    More chapters:

    *The kids really do grow up fast!

    *Marriage is different, harder, and better than you ever imagined.

    *Suffering really makes you grow, but it still stinks!

    *Chesterton’s great, consoling words: “Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.”

    *Someday, you really will look back on it and laugh.

    *The most important thing in marriage really is THE FRIENDSHIP.

    *Give it all to Jesus.

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