I’m terrible at keeping secrets. Don’t worry, not other people’s secrets, but my own. The only way I can safely do it is to not talk about anything; otherwise the secret is bound to fly out. So in the interests of not cutting myself off from all communication right when communication is especially important: I am pregnant :) I was considering keeping it to myself based on the theory that an undeclared pregnancy is a psychologically shorter pregnancy but apparently I am incapable of that. So, we are thrilled to announce that a fifth baby will be joining the team and expanding the love in April of 2015. We are all very excited. JD thinks it is a boy, because that would fit the pattern. Gus, never one to open himself up to making a mistake, has decided to “wait and see.” Gina thinks it’s a girl but JD suspects that is just wishful thinking (not that HIS guess is at all). Dulcie says “ttthhhbbbppt”. Mummy thinks it’s a boy too because I feel completely lousy, cannot sleep a wink, and everything smells. Not smells bad, just smells…too much. And Mike is also reserving his guess because he is scared of spoiling his perfect record of guesses and because after all Gus is his father’s son.
We are also counting down the last week or so before Mike leaves us for a six month deployment. I can’t say I feel daunted about it, because I don’t really know what I feel. It’s just a big blank hole of inexperience. I’ll have to get back to you about that in a month or so. We have gone almost four months without Dad a few times before, including times when I was pregnant or had a tiny newborn, and know that we can all manage. But the time difference this time will really make staying in touch quite difficult. We’ll just have to plan on calling at 2 am Guam time on Notre Dame football days when I’m sure he will be busily making all his housemates hate him by insisting on watching. We are very blessed though to know that we have many family and friends who will be thinking of us and willing to come help if we need them.
We are also grateful that his deployment is to Guam, rather than an active theatre of war. Being a pilot’s wife is a little different than some other military wives I think. For us, the danger remains about the same regardless of where our husbands take off from. Not always. Of course if you are a helicopter pilot in Afghanistan your wife is probably in agonies. But in our case we know the danger Mike faces comes from himself, the other people in his plane, and from the plane itself. This means that when we’re stationed in Oklahoma or Louisiana or wherever stateside there’s still a whisper of fear at the back of my mind every day he flies. But this deployment does not vastly increase that fear except that a tragedy happening when we are so far away would be particularly devastating. In between flights Mike will be facing the horrible terrors of: sitting on the beach, spearfishing, scuba diving and so on.
Still, I know being separated from me and from the children will be a real cross to bear. He lights up coming home to them, especially his hero worshiping girls. I know that, although I’m sitting at home pregnant and swamped with work while he snorkels the reef, I have the better end of the deal. So please, keep us all in your prayers as we go forward. Pray we all bear up under the separation. Pray the boys get a decent year of school in. Pray Mike stays safe. Pray “newbabymummytummy” (as we always dub our unborn in nightly prayers) grows healthy and strong and stays put til Daddy is back home. Oh and pray I get some inspiration because I really hate having writer’s block but what with insomnia and nausea and secret keeping I have a terrible case of it.